Picture your teenager-self with your shiny new driver’s license. You’ve studied, you’ve trained, you’ve learned what it takes to drive. While this fancy new wallet accessory deems you competent to drive, if you asked your parents to do a solo 10-hour road trip on the freeway, would they have let you? Even though we are capable, it takes time to build the experience and trust from our parents that we are ready for that level of independence. It’s not that different in the workplace.
We all want it. Autonomy. The trust and freedom to run with your ideas, make decisions, and get results without your boss meddling. Autonomy is earned on a task by task basis, and there are 5 critical actions you need to take when you are that “new driver” that will make your boss comfortable with letting go.
Ready to take action?
1. Turn Questions into Answers.
Have you ever emailed your boss a question since you couldn’t find her, and then before she’s read the email, you figured it out? As a “new driver” we are well aware that we lack extensive experience in the task and while we know many things, we don’t know everything. This lack of confidence is displayed in the form of questions. Lots of them. We are so fearful of making a mistake (and therefore being deemed incompetent) that we overly seek validation and ask too many questions of our boss that we probably could figure out, try out, or find out. Asking this abundance of questions robs of us finding the answer within ourselves (lost opportunity to build our confidence and competence) and they make our boss think we know a lot less than we do. Who is going to grant Autonomy then?
So, instead of “What should I do?” and “What would you recommend?” turn your questions into answers by showing your competence first, and your question second. Try “Here’s how I plan to approach it. Anything you would add or change?” You are still able to receive that validation, but you are showing your competence and confidence – two key aspects to gaining that autonomy you are looking for. Eventually, try stepping it up and remove the question altogether. With “I plan to do it this way,” you are still are giving your boss a chance to respond and provide input, while showing that you are ready for autonomy.
2. Share Successes, in Detail.
I’ve always been a “do good work and it will speak for itself” kind of person. I’ve learned that on some level that is true, but just like a good movie is NEVER as great as the book it’s based on, your boss will miss the details, your thought process and feelings, and all the important pieces that really bring it together. When talking with your boss, share your successes, specifically the situation, your actions, and the results, with all the glowing details. You may be uncomfortable with this, as it can feel like self-promotion. Think of it as “sharing”. By doing this it helps your boss see that you handled this situation without his/her involvement and it was wildly successful. It also gives your boss a glimpse into how you think, process information, make decisions, etc. which can build the trust in your ability to do the same in other situations. Finally, sharing your successes gives you the opportunity to build your confidence as you reflect on your achievements.
3. Think Outloud.
Piggy backing off sharing your successes, start getting better at thinking outloud. I am not referring to thinking outloud when you are clueless. Generally, that's a bad idea. Think Outloud when you do have moderate competence, so your boss hears your internal thought process in solving a problem, doing a task, thinking through a situation, etc. Remember it’s not just about that task, but your boss learning about your critical thinking skills, problem solving skills, understanding of the business, etc. that can build the trust to cut the strings a bit. This also gives you an opportunity to check your thought process with your boss, creating a learning moment that gets you closer to having the expertise to deal with the situation again in the future.
4. Present Your Solutions
You have a problem you are trying to solve and are confident you have the answer. You go to your boss thrilled to share your genius idea. His response? Not quite the enthusiasm you hoped for…“What about this?” “Have you thought about X.” “If you do X, then Y can happen…” Especially when you haven’t been granted the Autonomy yet, your boss is likely to approach your revelations with caution and immediately look for what you may have missed.
Before you present your idea, come up with at least 2 other possible solutions. Keep in mind the other two solutions don’t have to be fantastic (one of them could be to not do anything), but they do need to be feasible solutions. For each solution, brainstorm the advantages and disadvantages of each. Going through this process, you will find you have done the research to present the best case for your solution, AND you might even find that it leads you to a different answer entirely! When you share your solution with your boss, much like Thinking Outloud, deliver it all. Say the problem, each solution with the advantages/disadvantages, and finally your solution with rationale. Presenting this way not only does it give you the opportunity to Think Outloud, you are taking your boss through the journey of how you arrived at the solution so that she may arrive at the same conclusion, and you’ll both discover that you proactively addressed alternative solutions and objections! I am serious – try this. It works!
5. Courageous Autonomy Conversation
If you take action on the previous recommendations consistently, you will find you are ready for Autonomy. But sometimes our boss is lagging behind and not quite there yet. Now, it’s time to ask. First you need to describe how you are currently being led, then describe your competence/confidence, and finally describe the leadership you are ready to receive. For example, “Right now, with this task, you and I have been checking in quite frequently, and our conversations have been truly beneficial to me gaining the knowledge and skill around this task. I now feel like I’m fully competent and able to run with it, make decisions with it, etc. with less checking in and approval from you. What do you think?” From there, remember you have to both be on the same page. If your boss isn’t there quite yet, ensure you have action steps and a plan for what is needed to build that comfort.
Make it happen! It is clear that gaining Autonomy is not only about you building your own confidence in your abilities and skills, but it’s partnering with your boss to build her confidence in you as well. It just doesn’t happen in isolation. Remember, Autonomy is not given, it’s taken – so take action today!